The Yahrzeit
Kaddish
If you want to know more about Kaddish Chabad is always a fantastic resource.
Kaddish should be said at each prayer service of the day, shacharit in the morning, mincha in the afternoon, and ma’ariv in the evening.
On Shabbos and Rosh Hodesh and holidays, there is also a musaf, or additional prayer after shacharis.
On Yom Kippur there is ne’ila, after mincha.
Yahrzeit Candles
You should light a yahrzeit candle for your beloved on their yahrzeit, even if you can not get to a minyan.
There is nothing special here – just a candle that burns for the whole yahrzeit.
Some prefer to light oil.
You don’t have to say anything, but it is a nice idea to think of your beloved, or to say “in memory of the neshama of my …” and their name.
Davin from the Amud
It is a great thing to be the shali’ach tzibur on the yahrzeit of your beloved. This means you are leading the prayers for that service.
If you don’t know how, here is a fantastic resource! If you davin from the amud it is another mitzvah that your beloved caused!
Every mitzvah your beloved is causing in this world can only benefit the neshama you are lifting.
The last time I davinned from the amud
for the yahrzeit of my mother…
What do we know?
I would love to say it was clear to me… or that an image or dream came to me… that would be so good! But it didn’t happen.
But I did put out a small assortment of cookies and drinks – enough to allow the minyan participants take, and make a bracha in memory of the neshama of my mother.
You can do this even if you don’t davin from the amud, or we can do it for you. It is nice to write the name of the neshama on a sign and lay it next to the food.